


Not All Presents Come Wrapped

by TheSpaceCoyote



Series: 12 Days of Requestmas [6]
Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: And is easily foiled by Xmas Decorations, Christmas, M/M, Rhys is the worst spy ever, spy AU, spy!Rhys, supervillain!Jack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 14:27:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13102089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSpaceCoyote/pseuds/TheSpaceCoyote
Summary: Rhys continues to be the worst spy ever. Jack is easily amused by the fact that his Christmas decorations managed to thwart his biggest "foe."





	Not All Presents Come Wrapped

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nastiibruja](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nastiibruja/gifts).



> Set in the same universe as [this fill](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12364815/chapters/28125372). For xcorajuda, who wanted spy!Rhys tangled up in Xmas lights and Jack's reaction :)

Maybe some people would judge Jack for even trying to put up decorations in his secret complex. If they did, however, they knew to kept their mouth shut, lest Jack plug a bullet into their brains or toss them in the pen where his researchers kept all their latest genetic abominations. If he wanted to enjoy some god-damn Christmas cheer, then _god-damn_ , he was gonna go ahead and do it. _And_ go all the way.

Red and green and gold garlands lay strewn across every hallway, mingling with the strings of twinkly candy-cane lights framing each door. A myriad of scents mingled through every arm of the complex, ranging from peppermint to gingerbread to sugar cookie to balsam and cedar. Every couple hundred feet sat a fat Christmas tree full of shining ornaments and fluttering tinsel, shed needles kept off the pristine steel floors by gaudy yellow and white tree-skirts. 

Of course the decorations were just for fun, proof that even super villains could get into the festive spirit. Jack hadn’t expected them to have any other kind of function other than aesthetic, much less catch one of the many flies that sometimes tried to flit through his web. 

So, as he made his way across the complex with a tray of fresh baked fruitcake in hand as part of a bet with Nisha that he _could_ make it edible, he was surprised to find someone laying on the ground, their entire body tangled up in one of the many strands of Christmas lights that’d been strung up along the doorways.

He was slightly less surprised to find that that person was Rhys. 

“…Really?” Jack marveled, earning a surprised yip from the struggling Rhys. The hapless spy flopped over, both trying to turn towards Jack and work his way out of his current bonds. It was quite a sight. Jack didn’t know exactly who Rhys had gotten himself into such an impossible predicament, but regardless of the why, the result was frikkin’ hilarious. 

“Well….uh, thanks for adding to my decorations, kiddo. Really. You’re the crown jewel of the entire Christmas display!” Jack started snickering, shaking his head. 

“S-Shut up, Jack! I…It’s not my fault!” Rhys hissed, struggling futilely against the string of lights binding his body. Jack glanced up amidst his merriment, noting the paneling missing from the hallway’s ceiling. Well, that _kind of_ explained what had happened. God, just envisioning it made it funnier. 

“Uh-huh. Right. The Christmas lights just surprised you outta nowhere. Just completely jumped you!” Jack’s snickers devolved into full-on belly laughs, arms hugging around his middle as he nearly cackled himself breathless. Rhys face was almost as red as the string lights that had ensnared him, his arms wiggling helplessly against their grasp.

“Christmas decorations….my best defense system, all along.”

“It…it’s not _funny_ ,” Rhys hissed, cheek pressed against the cold steel floor. The lights blinks with mismatched cheer, reflecting against the ground below. 

“God. No, it is, it really is _hilarious_. I don’t know how you consistently end up being the _worst spy ever_ , but congrats, Rhysie,” Jack chuckled as he bent down next to the haplessly tangled man. “I almost want you to succeed, just once, to buck the trend. It would be a frikkin’ Christmas miracle.”

Jack crouched besides the trapped young man, setting the festive plate of fruitcake aside. He stroked his chin as Rhys whined and puffed, wiggling his fingers from their trapped position and trying in vain to tug at the string lights. He chuckled, amusement renewed as he decided what to do with the young spy.

“Jack, I swear, if you don’t let me out I’m gonna hack your systems and make all your tech go haywire! You know I can do it, and if you don’t help I’m gonna— _mmph!_ ”

Jack squeezed Rhys’ jaw, popping open the spy’s reluctant mouth and shoving a fat piece of his fruitcake inside. Rhys moaned in protest around the mouthful of cake, trying to chew and swallow so he could actually talk and give Jack a piece of his mind. Jack coyly tapped his full cheeks, before reaching over to rip the string lights’ plug out of the wall.

“Nisha’s really gonna get a kick out of this, kiddo. I was just heading over to show her my new fruitcake recipe, but I think she’s gonna wanna bite out of _you_ more.” Rhys’ eyes widened, his muffled protests increasing tenfold at the mention of Nisha. Jack wondered if the kid still had the hickies from the _last time_ she’d caught him. 

“Up we go!” Jack jeered as he wrapped the last length of lights around Rhys’ ankles, before hoisting him up and over his shoulder. He balanced the fruitcake carefully in his other palm, though he was less excited about proving his baking prowess than he was in having some fun with Rhys. The spy kicked helplessly, crumbs spilling out of his mouth as Jack giggled like an evil little child and whisked his surprise present away down the hallway. 


End file.
